27. There are millions of us, but Sathya Sai Baba is one, how can he know about the life of everyone?
The year I lived in the ashram for a long time, at some point I began to have an internal crisis. Gradually, deep doubts began to arise. It seemed to me that Sathya Sai Baba was alone, but there were many of us. I wondered how could Sathya Sai Baba know about the life of everyone and why does he need it?
Life in the ashram is not only bliss and joy, but sometimes also emotional decline and despondency. The spiritual path consists not only of happy moments of meditation and prayer, interesting meetings and fascinating communication, but also of complex internal crises.
Longing visited me and I felt that the life of each person for Sathya Sai Baba was not noticeable and not essential. He was alone, but we were many. It began to seem to me that he did not care about each individual person. Thinking about this, I fell into a deep sadness.
I walked slowly through the ashram past Sathya Sai Baba’s house, immersed in my dreary reflections. Suddenly, an elderly Indian of a very solid appearance approached me, carefully looked at me, and said, “I feel that I must come and tell you something very important, can I talk to you?”
Automatically, I answered, “yes, of course, please, how can I help you?” After a pause, he said, “I have been standing here in front of Sathya Sai Baba’s house for quite some time now. We do not formally know each other, but I know you well because Sathya Sai Baba often invites you for interviews. I was just standing there and thinking about you. I feel I have to tell you what I feel,” he paused and then continued, “I want to tell you that Sathya Sai Baba loves you very much, he loves you infinitely, I feel it with all my heart!” He uttered these simple words, and it was an exact hit in the essence of my thoughts. This conversation took place right under the windows of Sathya Sai Baba, this further strengthened the feeling of an invisible divine presence.
Sometimes it seems to us that there are millions of us, and Sathya Sai Baba is one, how can he know and be interested in the life of everyone? In fact, he feels the inner world of everyone and every second he is invisibly present in people’s lives.